


By Your Side

by imaginescerek



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Depression, Gen, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-14
Updated: 2013-12-14
Packaged: 2018-01-04 15:06:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1082456
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imaginescerek/pseuds/imaginescerek
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Why would you do something like that, Scott?" Derek questioned the teenager on the bed. He was still trying to get rid of the image that seemed to be seared in his mind.</p><p>Based on this <a href="http://imagineyourotp.tumblr.com/post/33147030982/imagine-person-a-taking-care-of-person-b-after">prompt</a></p>
            </blockquote>





	By Your Side

**Author's Note:**

> Also found on [tumblr](http://imaginescerek.tumblr.com/post/70003680963/imagine-person-a-taking-care-of-person-b-after)

"Why would you do something like that, Scott?" Derek questioned the teenager on the bed. He was still trying to get rid of the image that seemed to be seared in his mind.

_Derek had come over to talk to Isaac, they were trying to mend the fences after everything that has happened in the past few months. Instead, he smelled the scent of wolfsbane coming from the house. The werewolf had thought that some hunters may be attacking or maybe even a new threat. The last thing he thought he would find was Scott running a wolfsbane soaked blade across his arm._

_"Scott!" he yelled out, rushing to the teenager's side._

_Scott was shocked to see Derek but between the poison that was running through his veins and the blood lost, his face had only shown a look of surprise. But it was enough for him to drop the blade._

_Derek grabbed his arms to assess the how bad the damage was.There were several cuts  and black veins were all over Scott's arms. Some closer to his heart than Derek was comfortable with._

_Looking around, Derek was relieved to find the bag of wolfsbane that Scott had used to make the solution. He turned the bag over, spilling it's contents unto the floor. Taking out his lighter, he burned the wolfsbane. When the sparks had died down, he grabbed some of the ashes and pressed it into the cut that was the closest to Scott's heart._

_Each cut got harder to heal as Scott squirmed through the pain that was running through him. Derek wasn't even sure how he managed to get them all but the only thing that mattered Scott was alive. And the older werewolf sighed in relieve._

Scott had yet to look him in the eye since the incident occurred. Not when Derek helped him to his bed, or after Derek had pulled up a chair beside the bed after cleaning up all the evidence of what he had witnessed a mere 30 minutes ago.

"Scott." Derek prompted again. This time the alpha looked Derek's general direction, still not daring to look at straight at him. That scared Derek. Not once in all the time they have known each other had Scott not looked him straight in the eyes. Whatever that caused this, he needed to help fix it. "If you don't tell me something, I can't help you."

"You can't." The voice was soft, but Derek could hear each word clearly.

"I can't what, Scott?"

Finally, Scott looks up. But now Derek wished that he hadn't. The sorrow and hopelessness in his eyes were disconcerting. It wasn't a look that he has ever seen on Scott's face. "You can't help."

"Maybe not, but you have to give me, give someone, a chance to try."

This made Scott laugh. A short dark laugh that Derek wishes he never hears again. "You don't get it. You can't help. No one can. The problem isn't with anything, it's with me." Scott's voice lowers again with his next words. "It is me."

Derek frowned. "What do you mean?" 

The teenager looked away again. As much as Derek just wanted to shake the answers out of Scott, he knew that waiting it out was his best option. So he remained silent. It was a few minutes before Scott was speaking again.

"The ritual we did. To save our parents. Deaton said that there was a darkness that would be around our hearts. And it was there. I could feel it. It was small, negligible. But it just gets bigger and bigger. I don't know how to control it and I keep making mistakes." Scott paused. Derek could see that he was trying his best not to let tears fall. He took a breath before continuing. "They're all getting hurt because of me. My mom, Stiles, the Sheriff, everyone. If I hadn't turned, if I didn't get involved they wouldn't be trying to help me. And now that I'm an alpha it's just so much worse. Isaac looks at me like I have all the answers. The others look at me like I know what to do. How am I supposed to tell them I don't? That if they look to me I'm just going to get them killed?"

Derek licked his lips, trying to figure out the right words to console the boy who had looked away again. How did it get this far? Why hasn't anyone noticed how broken Scott was?

He pushed down the guilt that was rising in him. This was partially his fault. All the things he put Scott through, it caused this.

"I know what it feels like to blame yourself for getting others hurt." Derek tried to braced himself knowing the onslaught of memories that are going to come from what he was about to say next. "And I know what it feels like to want to release yourself from that responsibility."

That made Scott glance up, a slight frown graced his face. When he remained silent, Derek continued. "What you did today, I've thought it doing before. Almost did once."

"What made you stop?"

"I just couldn't do it."

Scott huffed a sad laugh. "Then you're a lot stronger than I am."

"No, I'm not."

That was the truth. He wasn't stronger than Scott. He has never been. What stopped him that night was fear. Fear that he would fail and he'd have to explain to Laura why was he so eager to leave her alone in the world. Fear that he would succeed and then needing explain to his family why he killed them.

But none of this was going to help Scott. The boy in front of him was living in fear of failing, it's what drove him to this stage in the first place.

"You're a lot stronger than you give yourself credit for. And I get that this sound like some rehearsed crap people say. But you are."

"Maybe you're overestimating me."

"Maybe. It doesn't change the fact that I believe in you. So does Stiles and Isaac and Allison." Before Scott could protest, Derek continued. "But that doesn't mean that you're not allowed to make mistakes. We're not going to abandon you if you do."

"You should."

"You didn't. And I've screwed up more times than I dare to count."

Scott stared at Derek for a few moments before going back to looking at his hands. They were quiet for a long time after that. Derek didn't know what else to say to Scott and it didn't feel right to leave him alone.

In the end Scott was the first to speak up.

"I just really don't want to feel this way anymore." He looked straight into Derek's eyes for the first time that night and asked, "Will it ever stop?"

The older man shrugged. "I don't know."

"Did it for you?"

Derek shook his head. "Not really. I learned to live with it. Some days are better than others."

"I don't want to live that way. I don't think I can."

"I know." He moved from the chair to the bed, closer to Scott. "Which is why if you ever feel this bad again, I want you to call me and I'll be here to talk, to stay through the night, anything you need. Just call me and I'll try to get you through this."

Scott raised his eyebrow ever so slightly. Derek wasn't sure if it was what Scott was aiming for or all that Scott could manage. He didn't want to know. "You're not exactly the talking kinda guy."

"I'll make an exception."

Scott fell quiet again. His eyes roamed all over Derek, as if trying to assess him. "Why?" he finally asks. "Why go through all this especially after what you saw me do? I'm not worth the trouble."

This he did have an answer for. He has always had the answer for. "Do you remember what I said to you after we got away from the hunters during your first full moon?"

Scott nodded before reciting, "'We're brothers now.'"

"I meant what I said."

That made Scott's lips twitch. In any other circumstance, Derek was sure that it would have been a small smile but considering all that has happened, he took it as a victory. But Scott's expression quickly changed to worry.

"Please don't tell anyone about this. If my mom finds out she'll never stop worrying. I can't do that to her."

"I won't," Derek assured. "But I won't hide it if someone asks."

Scott nods, understanding. "Can you stay? At least until Isaac gets home." 

"Of course."

Scott shifts on the bed, putting more space between the both of them. Derek understands the gesture and kicks of his shoes before moving to sit beside Scott, their shoulders touching.

They stay like that for the next couple of hours, occasionally talking about random things, until exhaustion finally takes over and Scott falls asleep.

Derek only moved to leave when he heard Isaac opening the front door. He took a sniff and was glad to find no trace of the wolfsbane. With one last look at Scott’s sleeping form, he crawls out through the window, promising to check on him tomorrow.


End file.
